Zardari jokes banned by Pakistani Authorities

Pakistan’s president Zardari has tasked his country’s top investigation agency to go after those who send, receive, or forward funny or derogatory text messages about the country’s president

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Anyone sending or receiving jokes about Zardari will now become liable for a 14-year jail sentence.

Temporarily, many Pakistanis who have so far been enjoying sending and reading funny text messages about their president have reverted to sending messages without any mention of Zardari. Bloggers and mainstream Pakistani media have called the new rules ‘draconian’ and many others contended that such laws would actually encourage further ridicule of the Pakistani president who is consistently portrayed in these text messages as a thief, a dog, a traitor or a demon.

Here are some of those text messages that have angered the Pakistani establishment:

1. Scratch & Win

lllllllllllll
lllllllllli
llllllllri
lllllari
lllardari
“Zardari”
Mubarik Ho aapka KUTTA Nikla Hai.
(Congratulations. It’s a dog.)

2. Long lines

A man standing in a long line for food tells the others in the line that he is leaving the line to go to shoot the president. He returns after a few hours and rejoins the line.
“Did you manage to kill him“, everyone asks him.
“No, that line is longer than this one“, he replies.

3. Robber meets Zardari

Robber: “Give me all your money!”
Zardari: “Don’t you know who I am? I am Asif Ali Zardari.”
Robber: “OK. Give me all my money.”

4. TV anchor announcing:

Terrorists have kidnapped our beloved Zardari and are demanding $5,000,000 or they will burn him with petrol. Please donate what you can. I have donated five liters.”

5. Postmaster General announcing

To commemorate the ascension to the Presidency, Pakistan Post has officially launched a new stamp. But the people of Pakistan are confused which side on the stamp to spit on.

6. Announcement In Zardari’s official airplane…

Mr. President , We are about to land.
could you please put Sherry Rehman (former Information minister) in an
upright position. Thank you….

7. Two dogs

Upset with Zardari
His dog jumped into
A dirty sewer
Said it’s not fair
For two dogs
To live under one roof

8. Pakistani meets American

Pakistani to American: What do you guys do with thieves?
American: We treat them humanely and give them nice food, warm clothes and long jury trials
Pakistani: That’s nothing. We give them the presidency.

9. Genie meets Pakistani

Genie to Pakistani: Order me my master. What can I do for you?
Pakistani to Genie: Bring me all the wealth in the Swiss bank.
Genie: My name is Genie, not Zardari.